just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
