i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
