so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
