Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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