dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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