True but thats because hes a fetus.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
don't judge my taste in strippers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize