carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sober January is a disaster.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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