It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
