My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
