i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
