Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize