Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
