I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
