You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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