Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
