Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
