she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize