Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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