just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
