please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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