i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
