If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
