i just google imaged poop.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
