SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
