sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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