I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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