piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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