we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
