There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The power of my boobs compel you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
