Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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