I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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