Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
