I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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