sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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