the condom got lost in my hair
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
last night I used snow as a chaser
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