Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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