She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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