A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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