Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize