I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
