I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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