Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
