are you still at the devil's house?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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