hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
