I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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