One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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