No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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