Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
