i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
