Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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