I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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