I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
