first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
