You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You took a bar mat shot.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
