dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
