we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
