The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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